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Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Indian Income tax department

The owner of a local bar noticed that his sales were going down and decided to try holding a contest to get more people to come in. Since his hobby was body-building; he decided it should be a contest of strength. That way he reasoned; he'd never lose and would still get all the extra customers. So the next night, he stood up in the bar and issued his challenge. He set a lemon up on the bar and shouted out "I'm willing to pay $500 plus whatever's in the pot to anybody who can squeeze more juice out of this lemon than I can. It costs $2 to play. Any takers?"

A bunch of guys rushed over and tossed in their $2. Then the bar owner picked up the lemon, which was completely dwarfed by his massive hand and crushed it. Lemon juice ran like a river out of his hand. The competitors looked discouraged but all of them tried to get more juice out of it. Alas, their efforts were in vain.

This continued night after night and drew more & more people to the bar. Bigger and stronger guys came in but none of them were able to get so much as a drop of juice from the lemon after the bar owner was done with it.

Then one night a very small, frail-looking man came into the bar. He watched the proceedings and after everyone else in the bar had tried to squeeze more juice from the lemon; he walked up to the bar owner. He said "Here's my $2; I'd like to try squeezing the lemon."

The bar owner looked down at the man and laughed at him. "You think you can beat me, little man? HA!"

The small man just ignored them, took the lemon from bar owner and squeezed it. The flood of juice that came out of the lemon while the small man was squeezing it made the juice the bar owner had extracted look like the tiniest of drops.

Everybody in the bar was stunned into silence. The bar owner looked at the small man with awe and asked how he'd done that?

The man looked up with a smile on his face and said, "I work for the Indian Income Tax Department."

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Santa Banta Jokes

Banta was busy removing wheel from his auto
A man asks banta y r u removing wheel from ur auto
Banta:cant u read the parking board..only for 2 wheelers
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Santa joined in a new job..1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
boss was happy and asked what u did till evening
Santa: keyboard alphabets were not in order..so i made it order..
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santa : whats the guarantee 4 this mirror
shopkeeper:throw down frm 100 feet ,the mirror willnot break till 99 feet
santa : WOW!!thats greate pack 10!!
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Banta is in mysoor palace
tourist guide: sir plz dont sit thr..Its tippu sultans chair
Banta:dont worry yaar i wil get up when he comes
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Banta wated to make a std call to punjab, he wanted to save money..what he did?
he went to pujab and made a local call

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Unmarried Pregnent Girl

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared,She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, If there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again !"

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