free jokes for yout to laugh

Indian Income tax department

2006-11-29T09:16:00.000+05:30

The owner of a local bar noticed that his sales were going down and decided to try holding a contest to get more people to come in. Since his hobby was body-building; he decided it should be a contest of strength. That way he reasoned; he'd never lose and would still get all the extra customers. So the next night, he stood up in the bar and issued his challenge. He set a lemon up on the bar and shouted out "I'm willing to pay $500 plus whatever's in the pot to anybody who can squeeze more juice out of this lemon than I can. It costs $2 to play. Any takers?"

A bunch of guys rushed over and tossed in their $2. Then the bar owner picked up the lemon, which was completely dwarfed by his massive hand and crushed it. Lemon juice ran like a river out of his hand. The competitors looked discouraged but all of them tried to get more juice out of it. Alas, their efforts were in vain.

This continued night after night and drew more & more people to the bar. Bigger and stronger guys came in but none of them were able to get so much as a drop of juice from the lemon after the bar owner was done with it.

Then one night a very small, frail-looking man came into the bar. He watched the proceedings and after everyone else in the bar had tried to squeeze more juice from the lemon; he walked up to the bar owner. He said "Here's my $2; I'd like to try squeezing the lemon."

The bar owner looked down at the man and laughed at him. "You think you can beat me, little man? HA!"

The small man just ignored them, took the lemon from bar owner and squeezed it. The flood of juice that came out of the lemon while the small man was squeezing it made the juice the bar owner had extracted look like the tiniest of drops.

Everybody in the bar was stunned into silence. The bar owner looked at the small man with awe and asked how he'd done that?

The man looked up with a smile on his face and said, "I work for the Indian Income Tax Department."

Santa Banta Jokes

2006-11-23T09:22:00.000+05:30

Banta was busy removing wheel from his auto
A man asks banta y r u removing wheel from ur auto
Banta:cant u read the parking board..only for 2 wheelers
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Santa joined in a new job..1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
boss was happy and asked what u did till evening
Santa: keyboard alphabets were not in order..so i made it order..
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santa : whats the guarantee 4 this mirror
shopkeeper:throw down frm 100 feet ,the mirror willnot break till 99 feet
santa : WOW!!thats greate pack 10!!
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Banta is in mysoor palace
tourist guide: sir plz dont sit thr..Its tippu sultans chair
Banta:dont worry yaar i wil get up when he comes
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Banta wated to make a std call to punjab, he wanted to save money..what he did?
he went to pujab and made a local call

Unmarried Pregnent Girl

2006-11-22T15:17:00.000+05:30

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant. Scared,She confides this ' news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature And distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the Girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. However, I can't marry her because of my personal family Situation, but I'll take responsibility. If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account. If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each. However, If there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand Firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You can try again !"

Big John doesn't pay

2006-10-13T13:22:00.000+05:30

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops-a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on.

Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened-Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down.

And the next day, and the one after that,and so forth.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!," the driver stood up, glared back at the passenger,and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

Moral of the story:

Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve it.

Chugga, Chugga, Chugga, Chugga, Choo! Choo!

2006-09-26T14:23:00.000+05:30

This fellow who had spent his whole life in the desert comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears a whistle:

"Whooee da Whoee!"

He sees something coming towards him, but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit -- but, only a glancing blow -- and is thrown to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in thehospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party, one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the closet and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal.

His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes to the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man:

"Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

The desert man replies: "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

Great Sardar

2006-09-19T09:16:00.000+05:30

Great Sardar

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta's wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity:When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour

sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

Santa went to mysore palace.
Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up wen he comes.!!..

Santa:banta yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Banta: oye tenu eh v nhi pata Santa. dear jab auto main koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to usse kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI.

Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Jokes What Is Politics

2006-09-13T15:10:00.000+05:30

Jokes: What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poor."

Blood Donation for Arab

2006-09-11T22:04:00.000+05:30

An (Bahraini) Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally.So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati waslocated who had a similar type of blood.

The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery,and a million US dollars.

Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati’s kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied “Bapu…..now I have Gujju blood in my veins!”

Pierre the fighter pilot

2006-07-09T09:29:00.000+05:30

Pierre the fighter pilot

It’s 1944. Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: “Pierre kiss me!” Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips. “What are you doing, Pierre?” says the startled Marie. “I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!” She smiles and they start kissing. When things began to heat up a little, Marie says, “Pierre, kiss me lower.”

Our hero grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and starts pouring it all over her breasts. “Pierre! What are you doing?” asks the bewildered Marie. “I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!” They resume their passionate interlude and things really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, “Pierre, kiss me lower!”

Our hero grabs a bottle of Cognac, and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights it on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the river. Standing waist deep in the water, Marie throws her arms upwards and screams furiously, “You stupid idiot, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?” Our hero stands up, defiantly, and says, “I am Pierre the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!!!!

If the Titanic was made in India

2006-06-22T23:42:00.000+05:30

If the Titanic was made in India

1) There would be 10 times as many people on the ship

2) There would be a song with Kate Winslet in a white saree and of course singing in the rain

3) The movie would be called "Pyar Kiya To Marna Kya"

4) Hero and Heroine would float in cold water for days and still survive, but the villian would die in the first dip

5) The iceberg would be sent by the heroine's father to teach the hero a lesson

6) None of the women would float due to heavy designer sarees.

And last but not least

7) Half of the rescue boats would be reserve for SC/ST/OBC

Management lesson

2006-06-18T00:42:00.000+05:30

Management lesson

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office…..but she belonged to someone else… One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said: I’ll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you….but the girl said NO. Johnny said I’ll be fast, I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I’ll be finished by the time you pick it up. She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend…..so she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won’t even be able to get his pants down.

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened…… She said “The bastard used coins!!”

Management lesson:
‘Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!’

All are same

2006-06-11T20:26:00.000+05:30

All are same
Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.”

The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese”. “Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.”

Shocked, Spielberg replies, “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.”

The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”
———-
This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain and this joke was sent by an Indian!

Adult jokes

2006-06-10T03:50:00.000+05:30

Dentist didnt get erection on wedding night so he used finger. Wife: What's this?
Nothing honey, just a temporary filling.

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What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population
increases.

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Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

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What's the diff between hook in circket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary

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Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.

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Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 6 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Mam, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.

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Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake

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Q: Why women wear bra & panty with flowers printed on them?
A: To pay tribute to men who got burrid at these two places.
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Robotic Secretary

Santa goes to meet his notorious techno-geek friend in his office.

"Hey, Santa, how are you?"
"I`m good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!", says Santa
"Well, I`m glad you like her. Believe it or not, she`s a robot!"

"No way, how could that be?", says Santa

"Way! She`s the latest model from Japan. Let me tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that`s not all, she can have sex, too!"
"You`re kidding, right?"
"No, she`s something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her."
So, Santa takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while.

Suddenly, Santa`s friend hears Santa screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! eeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"

Santa`s friend says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"
------------------

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat

Katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is Going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki Behind the bars.

First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning...

Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak Third one is born..."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I Have a doubt ( sounding nervous n confused)

" Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how Come u have one ?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him,

WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?

Masterji fainted.........................no answer.....

MR Bean jokes

2006-06-09T07:26:00.000+05:30

Mr Bean Jokes

Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr.Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr.Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor : Then why are you so happy?
Mr.Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
****
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
****
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
****
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks!
****
Friend: how many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
****
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
****
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder.
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
****
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
****
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful... is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure
****

Joke to laugh (Terrorist Attack

2006-06-08T07:37:00.000+05:30

A man sees a woman getting chased by a dog. When the dog is about to bite the woman, the man intervenes and kicks the dog.

A reporter was seeing all this. He said "That was great. I'll definitely publish this in newspaper.

Tomorrow the headline will be 'LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM A DOG'."

The man replied "Thank you, but I'm not from here. I am from US".

Reporter " OK. Then the headline will be US CITIZEN SAVES WOMAN FROM A DOG".

Man: Actually, I live in US but I'm not a US citizen. I'm a Pakistani national".
Next day, the headline in the paper read ... TERRORIST ATTACKS A LOCAL DOG.

Sardar Jokes

2006-06-06T08:01:00.000+05:30

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with Bill Clinton. Bill: I want to show you the US
advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.
Bill: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
Bill: more...more...more... Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
Bill: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bill : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.
Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bill to India. Next year Bill was in India Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes Bill to a forest.
Sardarji : Dig it. Bill does.
Sardarji : more...more...more... Bill goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. Bill tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything? Bill : No, there is nothing here.
Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!

Height of

2006-06-05T14:24:00.000+05:30

Height off

1. What is height of Fashion?
Dhoti with a zip

2. What is height of Secrecy?
Offering blank visiting cards .

3. What is height of Activelaziness?
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

4. What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.

5. What is height of Craziness?
Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

6. What is height of Forgetfulness?
Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

7. What is height of Stupidity?
A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

8. What is height of Honesty?
A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

9. What is height of Suicide?
A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

10. What is height of De-hydration?
A cow giving milk powder.

I Want to Buy That

2006-06-03T10:24:00.000+05:30

I Want to Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

Sardar Jokes

2006-06-01T06:38:00.000+05:30

Sardar comes back to his car and finds a note saying "Parking Fine"??He writes a note and sticks it to the pole: "Thanks for the compliments."

How do you recognize a Sardar in school? He's the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on the other so the man asked him the reason. He replied that the weather forecast had announced that on one hand it might be cold and on the other hand it might well be hot.
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy? Sardarji: They were 4 best friends!
Sardar to Shopkeeper: "Mujhe India ka flag dikhao". Shopkeeper ne flag dikhaya. Sardar: "Isme aur colour dikhao."
How can a Sardar kill a lion? Sardarji thinks hard concludes: "I'll drink poison and let lion eat me." O' bolo ta ra ra.
Sardar with a new mobile handset called everyone from his phone book and said "My Mobile No. has changed??Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is Nokia 6610"
Sardar falls in love with a nurse. He writes a love letter to her, "I LOVE U SISTER."
Teacher: "What is common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi and Jesus? Sardar: All were born on Government Holidays.
Santa : "That Cow is a Lovely Colour". Farmer : "Yes, it's a Jersey ". Santa: "Oh, I thought that was its Skin!"

Laughing jokes for the day - Thirsty Taliban

2006-05-27T16:50:00.000+05:30

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it.

The Arab asked, "I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"

The Jew replied, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? They are only $150. Here's one that goes very nicely with your robes."

The Arab shouted, "I don't want an overpriced tie, you idiot, I need water!"

The Jew replied "OK then, don't buy my ties. But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about four miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way; they have all the water you need."

The Arab begrudgingly thanked him, then staggered away towards the hill and eventually disappeared. Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was sitting behind his card table.

The Jew said, "...I told you, about four miles over that hill. Couldn't you find it?"

The Arab rasped, "I found it all right. Your brother wouldn't let me in without a tie.

Sleeping pills

2006-05-24T17:13:00.000+05:30

An exhausted looking man dragged himself in to the Doctor's office.

"Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the man answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the man returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be, said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest sleeping pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the man wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!!!"

Reservation quota

2006-05-23T16:46:00.000+05:30

Manmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to the moon next year.
Bush - Wow! How Many?
Manmohan Singh - 100
25 - OBC
25 - SC
20 - ST
5 - Handicapped
5 - Sports Persons
5 - Terrorist Affected
5 - Kashmiri Migrants
9 - Politicians
and if possible
1 - Astronaut

Laughing Jokes to make u laugh - Stupid

2006-05-16T23:05:00.000+05:30

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Laughing Jokes to laugh - Burdens and sorrows

2006-05-15T08:51:00.000+05:30

A Husband comes from church,
He greeted his wife and lifted her up, He carried her around the house
The wife was so surpraised and she asked
"Did the Pastor preach about being romanitc"?

The husband said, "No, He said we must carry our burdens and sorrows"

Microsoft Helpdesk

2006-05-13T10:23:00.000+05:30

Microsoft Helpdesk

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications
equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a
handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said

"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer
to SEATTLE airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the
co-pilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a
technically correct but completely useless answer."