Adult jokes

Dentist didnt get erection on wedding night so he used finger. Wife: What's this?
Nothing honey, just a temporary filling.

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What's the diff between a bomb n a condom?
In a bomb blast population decreases & if a condom blasts population
increases.

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Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.

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What's the diff between hook in circket and hook of bra.
One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary

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Mother: Do u know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.

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Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 6 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Mam, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.

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Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake

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Q: Why women wear bra & panty with flowers printed on them?
A: To pay tribute to men who got burrid at these two places.
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Robotic Secretary


Santa goes to meet his notorious techno-geek friend in his office.

"Hey, Santa, how are you?"
"I`m good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!", says Santa
"Well, I`m glad you like her. Believe it or not, she`s a robot!"

"No way, how could that be?", says Santa

"Way! She`s the latest model from Japan. Let me tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that`s not all, she can have sex, too!"
"You`re kidding, right?"
"No, she`s something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her."
So, Santa takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while.

Suddenly, Santa`s friend hears Santa screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! eeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!"

Santa`s friend says, "Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"
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In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat

Katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is Going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki Behind the bars.

First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning...

Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak Third one is born..."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I Have a doubt ( sounding nervous n confused)

" Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how Come u have one ?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him,

WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?

Masterji fainted.........................no answer.....

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